


Your Number 1

by RobotCryBaby



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-01-25 01:37:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21348127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobotCryBaby/pseuds/RobotCryBaby
Summary: Spock loves Jim, but will never say anything, because Jim loves Bones. Only, Jim also loves Spock. Bones is done with both their shit.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock, James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 28
Kudos: 141





	1. Chapter 1

The transporter lit up brightly and two silhouettes appeared in the beam, revealing the Captain of the Enterprise and his first officer. It had been another harrowing escape from an encounter gone wrong with the indigenous species of a thought to be uninhabited M class planet.

Kirk sighed as the transporter room came into full view, leaning heavily on Spock for support. Chekov was standing behind the controls smiling brightly but quickly called for Doctor McCoy after fully taking in Kirk and Spock’s conditions. 

Kirk limped off the pad with Spock’s help, wincing yet his ever confident smile remained on his features. Spock remained silent, giving no indication of injury save for the rapidly growing pool of green blood spreading across his chest.

“Should I call for someone to transport you to sickbay, sir?” Chekov asked.

“No, that shouldn’t be necessary, Mr. Chekov. Spock and I will make our way down to see the good doctor ourselves.” The captain nodded as he exited the room with the help of Spock.

As they made their way down the corridor, it became increasingly clear that Spock was holding most of Jim’s weight despite his own numerous injuries.

“Spock, you don’t have to carry me to sickbay, my leg is hardly injured.”

“Captain, while I find your perseverance and bravery admirable, I also know you to hide pain and discomfort, even from me.” Spock tilted his head to look at Jim.

Jim stopped them both, standing in the hallway as he studied the Vulcan’s face for a long time. “And what of your injuries, Mr. Spock?” Jim raised a hand to his First Officer’s face, gently stroking his cheek, careful to avoid the cuts.

Spock abruptly broke eye contact and continued their path towards sickbay. “The damage I sustained is all superficial, I am fine, Captain.” Jim scowled but dropped the conversation for now. The doors to sickbay had barely whisked open before Bones was on their case, yelling and scolding them as usual.

“You!” He took hold of Jim’s other side and helped him over to a bed. Once Jim was laying down he turned around and pushed Spock into a sitting position on the bed beside him. “The next time you go galavanting off into some unknown world and almost get killed…” he turned back to Jim and began scanning him with a tricorder, “I will bring you back and kill you myself!”

Kirk chuckled at the Doctor’s antics. “It’s good to see you too, Bones. Your bedside manner is as impeccable as ever.” McCoy pointed at him, as warning. A warning for what, Jim wasn’t about to find out.

“Nurse Chapel, can you please take a look over Mr. Spock here, make sure he isn’t being a Vulcan martyr and hiding God knows what.”

As McCoy continued to fuss over the Captain, Nurse Chapel began to examine Spock. After a quick scan she realized how fully he was injured, placing a soft hand on his shoulder.

“Nurse, I must ask a favour.”

“Of course, Spock.” Chapel smiled at him warmly.

“May I request that you seal my open wounds quickly, so I may return to the bridge to help direct the crew and inform Starfleet of the incident?” Spock’s voice remained even and calm. 

“Commander, I don’t think-”

Spock interrupted. “Now that the Captain is in stable condition, the next important task at hand is warning Starfleet and informing the new potential colonists that this world will no longer be available for a settlement. They are due to arrive tomorrow, the more advanced notice they receive the better the situation will turn out.”

Chapel looked at Spock for a long time before acquiescing to his request, making quick work of healing the open wounds on his chest and providing him a clean temporary uniform. He gingerly put on the shirt, careful not to aggravate his yet untreated injuries, and leaned towards Nurse Chapel.

“Please, make sure that he gets the medical attention he needs, and to keep him in sickbay until he has been cleared by Doctor McCoy and not before. I know that he is in good hands, Nurse Chapel.” Spock nodded to her before exiting sickbay.

Kirk averted his attention from the fussing doctor to see Spock disappear behind the door.

“Spock?” 

Bones stopped scolding Kirk and looked to Chapel quizzically. Nurse Chapel gave him a look that told him all he needed.

Kirk looked between the two medical professionals, desperately trying to decode their silent conversation. He began to sit up, hoping to follow Spock and find out what was wrong.

Bones just huffed and pushed Kirk back onto the bed. “Jim, you are by far my worst patient. Quit moving around and let me get this over with.” Bones resumed the examination and healing.

____________________

True to his word as always, Spock returned to sickbay later that evening. He had not stopped working since he arrived back on the Enterprise from their recent incident, and truth be told he was starting to feel, as humans would say, “worn out”.

He quietly entered sickbay to see Bones sitting next to Kirk’s bedside, softly whispering to him and holding his hand. The pair had not yet noticed Spock’s arrival.

“Jim, you can’t keep throwing yourself into dangerous situations like that, my old heart won’t take another close call like that one. You have no idea what it’s like, having to patch you up and bring you back to life all the time.”

Jim raised their joined hands to his lips and placed a soft, chaste kiss on the back of McCoy’s hand. “I’m sorry, Leonard. I know how hard it is. As the ship’s Captain I can’t promise not to run into danger ever again, but I can promise to be a little more careful.”

McCoy sighed softly before leaning in and pulling Jim towards his chest, enveloping him in a hug. “That’s all I need.”

Spock backed away, the guilt and sadness he had been pushing away finally breaking free, and quickly exited the room. He quickly began to walk back towards his quarters.

It was my fault. I made an error. I didn’t determine the readings in time. Jim’s life was endangered because of my incompetence. I put my T’hy’la as risk and nearly cost him everything. Nearly cost the Enterprise their Captain. Nearly cost McCoy’s source of happiness and love.

The guilty thoughts ate away at him, drowning out all other sounds as he walked back to his quarters. He was blind to everything but the past incident and the intimate scene he should not have witnessed between Bones and Kirk.


	2. Chapter 2

Spock had returned to his quarters to meditate on the issues that had plagued him since he was a small child. Too Vulcan to be human, and too human to be Vulcan. He knew it was illogical to harbour such feelings of love towards his captain, but once he began to feel similar things towards the ship’s doctor, Spock knew he needed to put a stop to it. But he was less than successful. Once the true nature of Bones and Kirk’s relationship was revealed to him many months ago, Spock had foolishly thought that would finally put an end to his “feelings”. Yet here he was, meditating away in his dimly lit quarters, consumed by thoughts of his two dearest friends.

The Captain is so passionate, confident, extroverted and loving by nature. Bones, despite his rather grumpy demeanor, is also exceptionally caring and passionate, and quite intelligent. It only makes sense that the two of them would find each other.

Spock knew he was none of those things. He was not expressive, or passionate. He was not out-going and many described him as cold and calculating. He had always known he could never be what Jim would want. Spock was intelligent, but only in ways that was to be expected of him, it was nothing extraordinary. There were many other Vulcans and even humans with much greater intelligence than him. 

So Spock did what he had always done; lock everything down inside of him and carry on. He could never reveal his true feelings to Jim. No doubt that they would be unrequited, but it would also cause stress in their friendship and potentially have negative consequences for their working relationship as well. He would likely have to request a transfer, if the captain didn’t do it for him. And to Doctor McCoy he was barely an acquaintance. Spock knew his presence was merely tolerated on the ship because of his duties and his friendship with Jim. If Spock revealed his desires to Bones, he dared not think of the consequences for such actions.

Spock’s thoughts were interrupted by a beep at his door.

“Enter.” Spock stood and straightened his appearance as he greeted his guest.

“Why you pointy-eared lying bastard! Making me come all the way over here to drag your sorry ass back to sickbay! And Sulu already told me all about your work on the bridge after you snuck out of medical like some angst-filled teenager!” Bones scowled with his arms crossed.

“Good evening, Doctor McCoy. I had returned to sickbay but found the medical staff predisposed, and because my injuries were not worthy of too much concern, I simply returned to my quarters to meditate. I will be sure to check in before my next shift.”

“Like hell you are, you’re coming with me right now.” McCoy stomped over and took Spock by the arm, leading him quickly to sickbay.

Bones set the Vulcan down on an open bed and began to scan him. Spock looked around at the empty room and raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t worry, I took Jim back to his quarters already. He’s gonna be fine. No thanks to you though. Going around, beaming down to unknown worlds, getting into trouble left and right. It’s like you’re both trying to make my life a living hell. And before you say anything, I already gave the same lecture to Jim.”

Spock remained silent as Bones continued to work, healing lacerations, mending bone fractures and things of the like. McCoy sat down in the chair next to the bed with a heavy sigh.

“So, tell me what happened already.”

“I have already submitted a formal report to Starfleet, I can forward the same report to you for your records.” Spock replied evenly.

“No, I don’t want some damned official retelling of whatever bullshit you two got into! I want to know why a Vulcan like yourself, built tougher than any human, got off so much worse than your human counterpart on the same excursion?!” Bones glared at him, fire and concern burning in his eyes.

Spock knew that Bones was worried about the Captain. No doubt Jim had already briefed him on everything that had occurred on the planet’s surface, he was looking for things Jim had hidden from him.

Spock took a steadying breath before answering. “I appreciate your concern, Doctor. But as you correctly stated, Vulcans are built to withstand more than the average human. Therefore, it was logical to shield the captain from any impacts or injuries he could have sustained. He is not only human, but he is also the captain, and it is my duty to protect him at all costs.”

McCoy could only stare incredulously at the half-beaten Vulcan. “You dim-witted hobgoblin! You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

“I was well aware of the dangers, Doctor. And I also know that your true concern lies with the safety of Jim. But do not worry, I will always do everything in my power to make sure Jim returns from every mission, alive and back to you and this ship. Both the captain, and yourself, are invaluable members of this crew, but I am also aware of what he means to you, and you to him. I may be the first officer, but you however are his number one.”

“Spock, you must be exceptionally blind to really believe that-”

“The Captain has already revealed your relationship to me. I consider you both my friends, and I would never do anything to jeopardize either of your happiness.” Spock stood from the medical bed. “Thank you, Doctor McCoy. I will make sure to rest before I begin my next shift.”

Spock hastily exited sickbay, not leaving Bones a chance to respond. Spock knew he had said too much. The Doctor was a smart man, there was no doubt that he understood what Spock had truly meant. Spock’s resolve was slipping, he knew he had to get a handle on it immediately, or he would let something slip he could not simply cover up.

____________________

Spock stood at his station on the bridge, dutifully fulfilling his tasks as science officer and Commander of the Enterprise. Jim had also returned to duty that morning, causing Spock much concern. No doubt the doctor’s orders of rest were ignored by their captain. Spock made sure to keep an extra eye on the captain over the next few days, to make sure he was properly taking care of himself.

Kirk wandered over to Spock and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“How you holding up, Spock?”

“I am well, Captain. Though I see that you, once again, did not listen to Doctor McCoy’s orders.” Spock raised an eyebrow. His heart clenched tightly in his side with such close proximity to Jim, the heat from his hand like lava.

“Yes well, there is never a time to rest on the Enterprise.” Jim smirked. “Would you kindly joing me in my readyroom, I have something we need to discuss.”

Spock nodded and followed the Captain over to his desk, both taking a seat opposite each other.

“We have a mission coming up and I need you to accompany Doctor McCoy to the surface. We have been requested to collect samples from a plant new the outer rim. I figured, with your scientific expertise and the doctor’s medical know-how, you two are the perfect men for the job.”

“Very well, Captain. I will be ready to depart.” Spock nodded.

“You will be okay, accompanying the doctor, won’t you? I ask only because I know that your personal relationship with him is somewhat strained. I know Bones can be a lot to deal with but I think you two just need to spend more time together and maybe you’ll like him.” Jim smiled encouragingly.

“On the contrary, Captain. If our personal relationship is indeed “strained” as you say, it is not because I do not like Doctor McCoy. We are, to simply state, very different in how we conduct ourselves and I understand that often causes the doctor stress. Do not worry Captain, I will endeavor to have the mission proceed smoothly and without issue.”

Jim stared at him, with a concerned yet oddly fond expression.

Spock watched a small smile form on the Captain’s lips. How he had dreamed of how they would feel against his own. But that was impossible and illogical, and the Captain’s good mood was due to the topic of Bones. Nothing more.

“If that is all, captain, I will return to my station.”

A sad expression flickered over Jim’s features. “Of course, Spock. You’re dismissed.”

Spock returned to his spot on the bridge and intended to return immediately to the work at hand. But he could not slow the rapid beating of his heart and the simultaneous heartbreak he felt at the moment. He wanted nothing more than for Jim to look at him with that fond smile, to see him as worthy of his love. He took a steadying breath and tried to banish these thoughts before they consumed him, and returned to work.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has less Spock on his own and is a bit fluffier between Kirk and Bones. I wanted to explore their relationship a bit too, though it might be a tad out of character, I'm sorry if that ends up being the case!

It was meant to be a routine mission, but nothing is ever routine on the Enterprise. Spock and Bones had beamed down to the surface of an uninhabited M class planet to collect the samples requested by Starfleet. Spock had made sure to scan the planet’s surface nearly a dozen times to ensure that nothing would surprise them once they arrived, but a powerful electric storm had surged during their time on the surface, trapping them until communication could be restored with the ship. This left the two officers taking shelter in a nearby cave system after having to fight off a particular aggressive species of local fauna in the process. They sat in silence, Spock fiddling with the tricorder settings to adjust it to pierce through the storm’s interference.

“Can’t believe, stranded on some god forsaken planet in the middle of a freak-of-nature storm! _ It’s just routine Bones. Nothing to worry about Bones. _” McCoy grumbled in a mocking tone, imitating Kirk’s departing words to him.

“I apologize, Doctor McCoy, I did not receive any indication of a storm approaching this area during my initial scans of the planet. Had I scanned a larger distance perhaps this entire situation could have been avoided.”

Bones watched as Spock worked diligently on the tricorder, studying his hands when he noticed a slight tremor and blue discolouration around his knuckles. He got up and abruptly yanked Spock’s hand away from the tricorder and began inspecting it.

“You may have a slight fracture in your hand.” McCoy brought Spock’s hand closer to his face to inspect it as he gently prodded the bruising.

Spock’s mind was running a mile a minute. The hands of Vulcans were very sensitive and used to express an array of things. Culturally, it was taboo to have much physical contact with others, so having his hand caressed so suddenly took Spock by surprise. Spock watched McCoy’s facial features, and at that moment he was beautiful. The soft light of the heater McCoy had set up flickered across his face, smoothing over the creases and bringing a light to his eyes that made Spock’s breath hitch.

Leonard McCoy was gently massaging Spock’s hand, the man who Spock was convinced hated him, was being exceptionally gentle with an almost fond expression. None of it made sense to the Vulcan, confusion prodding his carefully hidden emotions, causing them to flare up. It was then that Bones had grazed a particularly sensitive spot along his index finger, causing Spock to stiffen as his hand twitched involuntarily.

Bones knew of Vulcan anatomy and culture in regards to physical contact, particularly with their hands. For a brief moment Spock’s heart fluttered in his side as he imagined Leonard willingly tracing his fingers along his hands, massaging them not out of necessity but out of affection. But no, Spock pushed that thought away as quickly as possible, knowing Doctor McCoy was only fulfilling his duty as CMO.

Bones, still carefully holding Spock’s hand in his own, looks at him as if desperately searching for some unknown answer. Spock can only stare back, his heart pounding. His mind screams at him to do something, anything, and the logic within wins. With every ounce of strength he has, he removes his hand from Bones’ grip and goes back to work on the tricorder.

“I am fine, Doctor. My well-being isn’t our priority at the moment. I assure you that the injuries are minimal and will not impede my performance.”

Spock catches just a glimpse of disappointment and sadness in Bones’ eyes before walking away.

_ I cannot allow myself to indulge in these delusions. Vulcans do not feel such emotions. _ He repeated the statement in his mind like a mantra or a prayer until the storm passed and they were able to contact the Enterprise.

___________________________

  
  


Spock would never purposefully avoid his Captain or the ship’s chief medical officer because of something so ridiculous and impossible as emotions he should never possess; but he did seem to have more responsibilities in engineering and any part of the ship that wasn’t the bridge as of late due to unrelated circumstances. 

This did not go unnoticed by Kirk or Bones. Only those who knew Spock well, who paid attention to the quiet Vulcan, would ever be able to tell that something was going on. Vulcans needed less rest than humans, but even Spock had begun to develop faint bruises under his eyes. He was overworking himself to the point of exhaustion every shift, all while never voicing a single complaint. Kirk had known Spock long enough to know that the Vulcan tended to overwork himself when he was particularly stressed and meditation wasn’t having it’s desired effects.

Bones was the one to bring up his concern to the Captain first.

“Jim, something is going on with Spock, he looks dead on his feet!” McCoy grumbled to Kirk as they shared drinks in the Captain’s Readyroom.

Kirk took a sip of bourbon from his glass. “I’ve noticed that something has been bothering him for a while, even before you’re little incident on that planet with Mr. Spock.”

McCoy flushed deeply, which he would later blame on the alcohol. “Yes, well, his hand was severely injured and it needed attention, I couldn’t just let him-”

Kirk cut off his nervous rambling with a laugh. “Leonard, we’ve already discussed this. You know how much he means to me and I know that you love him too, even if you like to hide it underneath 10 layers of snarky comments.” He teased. 

Bones smirked playfully. “Oh, already using _ love _ are we?” Kirk childishly stuck his tongue out at his partner. Bones placed his glass on the table in front of them and leaned in close and playfully flicked Jim’s tongue.

“Hey, that hurt!” He feigned. “Now, as the CMO of this ship and my partner, you’re obligated to make it better.” Kirk leaned in closer to Bones, smirk dancing across his lips.

Bones rolled his eyes playfully. “Oh, so is that how it works?”

Kirk nodded dumbly, gaze flicking between McCoy’s lips and beautiful eyes.

“Well then I guess I have to, as part of my duties to this ship, and my Captain.” He closed the distance between them, softly kissing Kirk, his hand coming up to caress his jaw.

They broke apart slowly, staring at each other before smiling. “God I love you.” Kirk breathed, almost in disbelief that his life had turned out so perfectly. Well, almost perfect.

“I know. And while I’d love to continue, I think you should talk to Spock.”

“I know, I’m worried about him too. But I think you should come too.” Jim leaned back in his seat and steadied his gaze.

“Me? Why do I have to be there?” McCoy scoffed.

“Well, for starters I know that you’ll just be sitting in here drinking, worried out of your mind about how the conversation is going.”

Bones huffed but didn’t argue causing Kirk to break out into a large grin.

“Secondly, if I’m unable to get anything out of him or convince to rest, then you can step in and order medical leave and threaten to involve Starfleet if he doesn’t take better care of himself.”

Bones’ eyes lit up. “That’s awfully devious, pulling rank on your First Officer and best friend just to get him to sleep? Mind you, the stubborn bastard would only listen to rules and regulation instead of admitting needing a break.”

“Hmmm, sound awfully similar to someone else I know.” Kirk teased.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m never stubborn and always do what I’m told.” Bones laughed as he held out a hand for Jim and helped him to his feet, leaving to hold an intervention for the other person that mattered most to each of them.


End file.
